my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
