you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize