I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
