Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
