My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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