K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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