I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
