sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.