I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
