Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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