I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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