my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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