You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
