They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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