I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
