I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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