apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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