Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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