He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
