AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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