is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
