my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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