apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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