Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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