Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
