BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
