I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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