Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
