First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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