No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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