let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
