at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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