I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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