I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
