I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize