The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
