our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize