Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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