I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
