so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
