Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
