I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Soap is not a condiment
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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