And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
