i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
