Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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