The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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