i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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