i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
