Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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