jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
