I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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