I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
