girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I fill condoms, not promises.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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