Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
