So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
