You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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