I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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