I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
