We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
