some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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