Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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