I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
