so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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