My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize