I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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